What we believe about Relationships

  • We form, grow, and live our lives in the context of relationships and community.
  • Healthy relationships foster health and wellness.
  • We all need education about how to have healthy relationships.
  • Success in our relationships is how we will ultimately evaluate our lives.

What we believe about Marriage

  • All marriages have rough periods and need community support.
  • Healthy, life-long marriage has strong value for individuals, families, organizations and communities.
  • Life-long commitment is especially difficult in today's throwaway culture.  
  • Marital commitment brings obligations to work on a troubled marriage before giving up.
  • Children have an important stake in the health and endurance of their parents' marriage.

What we believe about Divorce

  • Divorce is usually an attempt to solve a problem that people think can’t be solved in any other way.
  • Divorce not only splits up a marriage, it splits children, families and communities.
  • Some divorces are necessary in order to prevent further harm in a destructive relationship.
  • Some divorces are ultimately unavoidable because one party decides on divorce despite                                        the wishes of the other party.
  • Some people behave destructively enough over a long time that they lose their claim on their spouse’s commitment.
  • However, many of today’s divorces could be prevented if both parties took steps to work on their marriage      before it was too late.

What we believe about Parenting

  • Parenting is about the quality of the relationships parents develop with their children.
  • All parents deserve the chance to learn the concepts, skills and strategies to be effective parents.
  • Parents need to work together for the benefit of their children.
  • Divorce does not absolve parents from the responsibility to collaborate in the interests of their children.

What we believe about Children

  • Children have two fundamental relationship needs from parents - love and nurturance & structure and discipline.
  • Children do best living in intact families with both biological parents in the home.
  • Relationships with both parents are important to children's identity, self-esteem and success.
  • Parents may divorce one another, but children shouldn't be expected to divorce a parent.  

What we believe about Healing

  • Human beings have the capacity to move past anxiety, mistrust, and hostility and relate to each other from their best selves.
  • Healing needs to address the needs of the whole person, including their relationships and spirituality.
  • Restoring a marriage must not come at the expense of one of the partners.                  
  • When both spouses devote themselves fully with proper help to restoring their marriage to health,                        they can usually make it.
  • All people need healing professionals from time to time.

What we believe about Spirituality 

  • Love and fairness must go hand in hand.
  • Healthy spirituality means having healthy attitudes and behaviors.
  • Spirituality is based in our capacity for relationships and connectedness.
  • The willingness and ability to forgive is essential to personal and relationship health.
  • Spirituality is how we live out our values, beliefs and faith.

*Several sections of this Statement of Values are adapted from the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project, University of Minnesota.